I don't always say what's on my mind, I just figured it would be better that way. Just to keep shut and don't hurt anyone with my thoughts.
I guess this must be karma, having such a good period of my life just to get hit in the face with an even worse period. I guess that time has come.
What do you do when all you want to sleep because when you sleep, no living nightmares, there's no anxiety, no dark thoughts. It's nothing. I don't know how I ended up this way, but I'm having this dream, this dream where I'm travelling the world, just enjoying everything to the fullest. Then I wake up to 6 months of cold nothing, just to live for the 6 somewhat warm months.
Why am I writing this you ask? Because I'm tired, tired of trying to fit in, to make everyone happy. I guess this is the honest truth. I'm tired, I'm just really tired of my life.
There's a deadly omen crawling the streets outside, angels keep falling from the skies. Life hurts and there is no warning. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still here, you know?
Sometimes people think that depression means sadness. Depression does not mean sadness, depression means numbness. Depression is a lack of motivation. Depression is I don't care about anything in my life, depression is not just wanting to die, it's not feeling any desire to live.
"I am the meanest person you'll ever know. And baby my teeth will rip you into shreds so small you will start to question your existence.
My words will start to cut like knives on your skin and my hand that were once a gentle touch to your skin will now burn you. Make no mistake to trust me for most of the words that stumble out of my mouth are not truths, but rather the bent truth.
I will make you choke on your words, make you doubt the days you live and you'll start to question your own sanity. So baby, don't come any closer. Run, make your heart beat so fast from running so fast, make yourself breathless. Because you will never feel like that with me.
Don't say I didn't warn you" - Michelle Dulake.
